Rethinking Sex and Gender

Rhode Island Department of Elementary and Secondary Education Guidance for Rhode Island Schools on Transgender and Gender Nonconforming Students 

 CREATING SAFE AND SUPPORTIVE SCHOOL ENVIRONMENTS 

- Support healthy communication between educators and parent(s)/guardian(s) to further the successful educational development and well-being of every student.

I struggle with this statement for a couple of reasons, but would love to hear anyone else's input on it.  

First, I have personally experienced bullying with my son in school and on the bus.  What is considered "healthy"?  I felt unheard, ignored, and pushed away.  My son would come home from school with wounds from being punched and even stabbed with a pencil.  He was sworn at and spit on while riding the bus home.  When I called the head of the school and bus company, I was demeaned for going to the "top" of their chain of command (which I never knew existed)!  I pulled my son out of public education because he was not being protected, and there was a significant communication gap between me and the school.  I drew the line when he was physically sick every morning before school.  

Second, how can we as teachers foster healthy communication when we are asked to ensure confidentiality for our students?  I have had students who use specific pronouns, names, etc.  However, their parents may not be aware of this.  I am asked to have a healthy relationship with parents, but it is sometimes based on the omission of valuable information that defines their student.  I had a student in the past very upset because the father found out they were gay.  The student felt at risk because of this.  How would I have known if I had a conversation with that parent, if that student had not disclosed that information?  Maybe part of a solution would be to hold workshops for parents to provide them with information that might help them to understand and support their youth?  

“No otherwise qualified person shall, solely by reason of race, gender or handicap be subject to discrimination by the state, its agents or any person or entity doing business with the state.”  (Article I, Section 2 of the Rhode Island Constitution)

"Commit To Do Better"

The phrase "Actions speak louder than words" stands out to me when I read this article.  It was informative, helping to understand terminology.  I agree mostly with saying you're sorry.  However, I have also been in situations where saying sorry was met with harsh words, angry, and hurtful comments shot back.  I think the best approach, from BOTH parties, is to recognize the mistake and commit to being more conscious in the future.  I do not feel that hostility and harsh language are beneficial at all.  Both parties need to extend grace and respect to move forward.